Have you ever been on the infamous Colossus at Lagoon? Or even a large roller coaster you personally have battled with the fright of from an early age? Well let me tell you how long it took me to finally take that leap of faith and strap myself into the cart. I probably visited the amusement park 5 times a summer growing up. The magic of the smells, people, and of course rides was what childhood was all about. I loved every moment of it. Until it came time for the “Big Roller Coaster.” I cried and ran before they could even try convincing me to get on that death trap! I had agency and I was gonna use it if it killed me!
Well years passed and the fear died down, but never completely left me. It lingered quietly and was trotted over many of times by the pride of wanting to be “cool and adventurous” like my friends and family. But I was still just as strong-willed that if it wasn’t my decision, there’s no way in heck I was doing it. I can’t remember how old I was when I readily took my first steps onto the Colossus, but I will never forget the feeling. “If no one has died on it then I am safe,” were my exact words. Still those come out of my mouth when I am about to fall to my death on yet another coaster of sorts.
Without hesitation your strapped on and no way of turning back. Your barreling though loops and racing down hills. The coaster twists, turns, and leaps like you’ve never felt before. Pure fright, adrenalin, and joy, all at the same time. It’s amazing!!! It feels as if you are in this moment of time and it’s never going to end. Like you have lost control and someone or something is guiding your future. Your stomach drops and nothing but butterflies escape. You think you will be happy forever until it ends. The sudden jolt of the wheels and screech of the metal makes you cringe. Its over. The ride is done. Back to reality. The dizziness sets in. You finally catch your breath and ask, “Can we go again?” But like anything momentous, you have to wait patiently for the next time. Till the dust settles over that experience and a new one begins.
I hate to get all parable on you but does this not sound like life? Especially relationships? For me it parallels it perfectly. It took me a long time to feel comfortable and confident to put myself out there, or in other words, get on the roller coaster. Then once I do I love it. The feeling over takes me and emotion is all that drives me. You think it will last forever until the screeching holt you hear and your forced to unstrap your seat belt and get off…. The last roller coaster I took led me to where I am now. I just hope the next one leads me home.