It’s been a while since I can remember being this embarrassed or doing something that would make even the grumpiest person laugh. Although, I do have a history of embarrassing moments, but from what I remember, most of my life was embarrassing. Being dropped off for school, being picked up for school, having my mother around me…. anywhere, walking the halls and having my fly down, having my skirt tucked into my underwear after walking out of the bathroom, tripping infront of a cute guy, talking to a cute guy, going to school dances, putting on makeup, wearing a bra for the first time, developing two very large zits on both sides of my cheeks that not even a blind person can miss, walking out of art class with charcoal unknowingly all over my face, and much of my teenage life. So by now you would think I would be used to it. Oh No, I don’t think anyone can get used to feeling like you just walked into church with nothing on. Embarrassment will forever be utterly embarrassing.
It all started with the fact that I was talking to my best friend Sandra Bradshaw on the phone today. I mentioned the fact that I used to have a crush on this guy last Christmas and dated a little but since then have lost touch. He was pretty good looking, tall, nice smile, sweet, and my style. But things had changed and I got back with my ex. Anyway……… after I got off the phone with Sandra I scanned my contacts and low and behold his name was propped right there between the R’s and T’s (he shall remane unnamed). So I took a bold move and called him!!!! You can imagine how nervous I was, since I hadn’t spoken to him since LAST CHRISTMAS!
“Hello,” he says confidently.
“Hi, do you know who this is?” My rebuttal in a perky tone.
“No, who is it?”
“It’s Chelsea Vose…. we went out a little bit last Christmas….” Starting to get worried, I threw in a couple descriptive words.
“Oh, hey, how are you…,” sounding not as excited as I expected, I decided to engage in small talk until finally taking the plunge.
“Are you married?” Did I just say that? I did, oh freak, I don’t know if I’m prepared if he says yes!
“Actually I am, we got married August 4th…..” OMG, Awkward! I just called a married man! What do I say? Dang, he was cute, I really missed out! I was starting to panic, should I hangup now? Should I congratulate him and ask how the marriage is and pretend thats why I was calling?
“Congratulations!” I said with too high of a tone. Probably broke his ear drum. I feel like a complete idiot. Never in my life has this ever happened. I didn’t know how to get out of it. He probably feels bad for me which is even more awkward. I so wish my phone would just drop service right now, why didn’t I go with at&t? All I was thinking is I’ve got to hangup as soon as possible. Before I could make any sense of the situation this came out of my mouth without thinking….”Well have some great sex tonight for me, Bye!”
Yep, that just happened! I learned a very valuable lesson. One that I will never forget. I don’t know if thats ever happened to anyone else before but I have never been so embarrassed. I immediately called Sandra back and told her the whole story! I have never laughed so hard. Moral is; Never randomly call a guy you used to date because chances are he will be married with or without a child and like displayed above, it will be an extremely awkward conversation.