Whats Worse?

Yes another day I wake up thinking that I am cursed! Did I not do that one good deed I knew I should of done? Or should I have slipped those couple extra dollars into my tithing envelope? Or maybe I am being cursed for not saying hi to the lonely person standing in the corner of the last party I was at? What could it be? I try and be a good person. I try and give to the poor, smile at the sad, and listen to the lonely. There are so many things I pride myself in doing yet I still find shortcomings in my everyday life.

I don’t know about you but I am not vain, but I am just personally aware of my appearance. I always like to look polished and ready to meet someone of higher status if the opportunity ever presumed itself. I seem to always run into my ex’s when I just pulled my hair back into a gross pony tail and just clothed myself with yesterdays attire. (Which rarely happens! So the fact that I run into the ex of all people looking like that has got to be a curse!)

I am a very grateful person. I spent my car ride to work this morning praying out loud for everything I cherish in life! My friends, my family, my faith in positive future comings. It all rolled off the tongue in hopes Heavenly Father would cut me this one little break. One thing that I would love more than anything in the World right now…. A CLEAR COMPLEXION!!!!!

I struggle with (dreaded and disgusting word about to vomit out of my mouth) a.c.n.e.!

A= Age

C= Can

N= Not

E= Escape

Since I was senior in high school I have covered my face with layered bangs in hopes to hide the inevitable! It attacks me like the plague on and off like the change in the seasons. The blessed year of 2010 was like honey on toast! Clear amazing beautiful glowing skin for an entire 365 days! It was the best year of my life! I was on the front cover of a magazine, I was Miss Logan 2011, I had a HOT boyfriend that made me laugh til it hurt, I was TAN, I had a bangin body, I had a Gr8 internship at Salt Lake Magazine that skyrocketed my career, and I graduated with my bachelors. All because my skin was CLEAR!!!!!! Ok and maybe a few other things… But when you have clear skin you feel like you are on top of the world!

Then 2011 hit and Adult Acne decided to show its ugly face, literally!


I had to get up and walk around because I got so heated!!! “Calm it down, Calm it down, Calm. It. Down.” (thank you for that quote, black woman with huge lips) I just don’t understand life! I do everything I can to cleanse my face of the monster, but it keeps following me! I could do birth control but I don’t want to add any more hormones to my body unless I HAVE to. I hate dermatologist. They don’t know what there talking about and I’ve never had a dermatologist ever clear a single blemish with their products. I did proactive for years and it worked, but not anymore (tear). I am allergic to every product in ance clearing solution (benzol peroxide, sylicic acid) and have had many doctors visits to prove it. Ever scene Hitch when he had his allergic reaction? Yep. Need I say more.

Well I am going to try these new product that my friends told me about. I have tried a little bit of it and I am not allergic. So I am buying the whole shebang. Please Please Please PRAY FOR ME for clear skin!!!! I firmly believe that prayers are answered when more people are sending the same message. I know I don’t have a terminally ill disease but I am at the end of my rope here!!! Thank you!!!!

  1. thatgirlwhit said:

    i don’t mean to laugh at your problem…but the way you write about it make me smile!
    ugh…i’ve had my moments where i thought – if i could just have perfect skin, i’d be content! – unfortunately i’ve never been blessed with one of those blemish free faces. it’s not HORRIBLE, but more than i want. it’d be great to not feel self conscious without a lil concealer here and there hiding the imperfections. i’ve always wanted to try proactive. does it work fairly quick?? or do you have to wait a while for results?

    goodness, that is not great luck to be allergic to so many of the medicines! i wish i had something to offer. i do have my prayers though!

    • You can laugh all you want because frankly I’m a drama queen! I admit it. I freak out so easily! Working on that. But yes, I have never been blessed with perfect skin either so we can relate. I just thought i would throw one of my flaws up there that maybe others can relate too lol. Its crazy that we have men on the moon, samples of rocks from Mars, curing diseases like Polio and the plague, but when someone heaven forbids gets a lil blemish on their face doctors have no idea what to do!!! I’d like to give them a piece of my mind.

      But thank you! I am trying this new product from an estitichian that I have high hopes forI’m rockin No MAKE-UP today which NEVER HAPPENS!!!!! I can remember maybe a handful of days that I’ve done this….(wierd huh) I need to let loose!

      Thanks for the reply!

  2. Elise said:

    I totally get this. I blogged about it once too: http://eliseypants.blogspot.com/2010/12/secret-secret.html

    I think about it every day and it just drains on me. And then I feel bad, because really, my life is way good. I am healthy, I can walk, I don’t have cancer… there are so many problems that I’d choose acne over ANY day. But all the same, I’d give anything to have clear skin.

    What is the new product you’re trying? You’ll have to let me know how it works because I’m always looking for new remedies to try.

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