To bite or not to bite?… That is the Question. My Twilight Saga

I don’t think I need to remind you or the rest of the World that Twilight’s Breaking Dawn Part 1 just came out this weekend. It was a spectacle of sorts. Ranging from crazy get-ups on the news to looking at people wait in line for hours! All to get first pick at the always inviting velvet theater seats. I heard about this event for days prior from everyone I knew. It was like I couldn’t escape. I was bound to see it whether I liked it or not.

As for me, I am FAR from a Twilight fan. In fact, I have no idea what really is happening in the story. I forced myself to read the first book wondering if it was all it was cracked up to. To me it fell short. I decided against reading any more, which I am quite happy about. Then, like clock work of the money driven entertainment industry, the movies started coming out. They caught on like wild-fire and became the gossip of every woman, teenager, child, radio station, TV, friends, and co-workers.

Lets start from the beginning of my Twilight Saga. 3 years ago, as a Junior in College, I woke up to Edward staring me straight in the face as I shuffled into the living room one foggy morning. Soon after, opening day had arrived. As 5 of my best friends cheerfully galloped to the theater with their reserved tickets clutched tightly, I stayed home throwing up everything I had eaten in the past days prior. Coincidence? I think not. Thats strike one.

Strike two follows as the Twilight movie 2 “New Moon” comes amidst. For I refused to go. I was soon kidnapped, removing my blindfold after being placed in my velvet seat. I sat through it wondering why I was cursed.

It wasn’t long until it brought an all out brawl between my Team Jacob/Edward friends. I for one choose neither. It is absolutely ridiculous to choose either of them. They both lack personality and humor. Not once did either of them smile and bella looked completely depressed through out the entire movie. I will admit I was smiling every time Jacob took off his shirt… I’m a sucker for abs! Haha total pun!

On a positive note, Hollywood had found the cheesy romance as repulsive as myself and decided to do a Spoof on the Twilight Saga. It was now my turn to drag my friends to the theater! It was hilarious and exactly what I expected. They interpreted the emotionally scared characters as ridiculous as they looks. Oh simple pleasures.

Luckily I had dodged the bollut on the 3rd Twilight “Eclipse”. I moved to a new city where I knew my new friends and my Boyfriend could NOT pressure me into another Vampire vs. Wolf vs. Human vs. Ridiculousness Movie.

Thinking I was home free, I walk into a large room filled with familiar faces chanting and cheering Surprise! Almost jumping out of my pink panties I spotted HIM! It couldn’t be! Why is he here?! I thought I had escaped his grasp! Yes, standing amongst the fellow party comers stood Edward, as pale as snow. Flat as a board. In fact he was a board, a cardboard cutout! Why they thought he would like to join my party confuses me still today. He resides under my bed folded up until Halloween when i will put him in my window to scare children.

Now as told before, the 4th, not last, of the Twilight movies has come out, “New Dawn”.  Refusing with the spears of old to NOT go… I gave in. I became my own worst enemy. $10 of my hard earned money was spent on something I have been fighting against since the beginning! As I murmured through the previews “I can’t believe I’m here” feeling like a loving husband who goes to a chick flick on a friday night just to make his wife stop harassing him on not spending enough time doing what she wants. I felt the rolling of the eyes begin as the movie began. I giggled through the relentless cheesiness and stired during the intro. Then all of a sudden I was enjoying myself…. It was strange.  I even cried when Bella walked down the isle to marry her cold blooded Vampire. I started thinking to myself I wanted to marry a vampire! The rest of the movie was gruesome, romantic, and nail biting and I loved it! They made a believer out of me!

The end was a page turner and had me wanting to know what happens next. Maybe I will find myself going to the 5th not so onery. With a skip in my step I walked out of the theater with my girlfriends laughing and gawking at how attractive Edward had suddenly become. I still find Bella a frustrating character that I wish would just be normal. But I can’t have everything. We’ll see what thoughts arise as I embark on a new string of enjoyment for my blood-sucking friends. Shout out to the Indian Wolf Jacob and keep up the hard work on those abs. I most look forward to those.

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1 comment
  1. thatgirlwhit said:

    as cheesy as some of the movies get, some things are just RIDIC. i can’t help myself. i’m such a sucker.
    glad you became a believer!
    team jacob all the way. it’s those abs.

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