Everyone has bad days right? It’s natural to feel like theres no hope and you want to just crawl back into bed isn’t it? Well today is just one of those days. I will be honest, I’m sick of trying to get over my Ex. I’ve written blog post’s about break-up advice and sat down and talked to people that are going through the same thing I went through. Yet I still find it hard to feel better on certain days. I wish I could take my own advice.
Its like being out at Sea and you KNOW you are in the middle of no where. Even with your binoculars you can’t see a bit of savored land anywhere. All you want to do is sail straight back to the place you left, where you knew everyone and it was the only placed you’ve loved. But due to prior circumstances, you were exiled for something you had no control over and forbidden to step foot on that land again!
This might explain a little better where I am coming from and feeling. I know there has to be a new island out there that has all my hopes and dreams wrapped tightly around it. But, like the human I am, I’m at fault. I wonder if I will be traveling for the rest of my pathetic life. Like the Ocean, the world is vast. My future may even seem bleek at times. I so wish I had a map to show me where the next truth lays. Life doesn’t give you a map. It only gives you a compass to point you in the direction you choose to go.
I chose my path long ago. I was going to make all the right decisions so I could be married to a Priesthood holder in the Holy Temple for time and all eternity. I was going to do all I could to continue making the best decisions and stay close to my Heavenly Father. Having a large family and a great life was always my path.
Since then I have followed specifically, but it has not gotten me to where I want to be. I’m still single, still truckin’ along life, and still longing for more.
When does the hopeful island come that holds my future? A place to put my bags down and settle for good. The person I’m looking for is still out there. And as pathetic as it may seem, I know all of you have at one point felt the same way.
My love languages are Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation. I was very close to my mother growing up. She was my anchor and my positive gift giver. I needed to be told that I am loved and that I have some qualities that when down, are swept under the rug as to not be seen by my own eyes. I guess what I’m saying is I need a little encouragement in my life. To know that it isn’t as bad as it seems on this incredibly daunting day.
Have you ever sailed on vast ocean,
With no island to see, and things are out of reach?
With dreams and mysteries filled this ocean,
And a never ending faith that someone would teach?
Have you ever felt that feeling,
Of a deep calmness within you that’s hard to fight?
And no one could help you believing,
That you’re striving for the right?
Did you ever sailed on an ocean,
That further placed upon your heart?
For deeply below this ocean,
Lies a silent whisper, where love starts.
An ocean of Love, the ocean of dreams
Where you can find solace and exceptional truth
Though pain resides even if you don’t dream
As the existence of love bears its fruit.
The fruit of harmony, bliss, and wonder
Without the seed that’s buried down below
Like a pearl that lies down under
The ocean of love they call, starts hello.
Upon this vast ocean, two souls were me and you
Over the waves and across the surface
I have found a love so true
The ocean of love was then the wondrous place.