TODAYS INSPIRATION | Re-Inventing Yourself. Hey Guys, if you haven’t noticed, I gave my blog a complete Make-over! Gotta love shnazzing something up after a while. It gives me a fresh start to a new day. I hate when life starts getting into the same old monotony of actions. I have to constantly be changing and bettering myself. I can’t handle even standing in one place at one time! That might be the cause of my perpetual Anxiety. Or the fact that I’ve never lived in the same place longer than a year since I was born.
Moving was me and my Mother’s middle name. I learned to never get too attached to the people around me because I knew I would be leaving them just as quickly. Before long, instead of seeing it as a bad thing, I started to look forward to it. I would get excited for the new school I was going to attend. The new faces I would observe. The rituals and cultural differences I was participate in. I as well got excited about reinventing myself yet again. A new me, a new day, and a new leaf. Change was fast pace and I had to keep with it. Although, the constant change of the home life was quite a different story.
I am an only child. You might know of some in your neighborhoods or city. They may be few, but they are strong. I can’t imagine growing up any differently. I dreamt about being in a big family. Place myself in situations where I could almost taste it, but it never came true. I wish I had a “perfect” family like all my friends. The brother/sister bonds they shared. Insta-friends is what I called them. I did grow up with step-sisters for my younger years on the weekends while my mother was dating their father. It was great! We laughed and imagined together. Until when I was 11 the family unit was broken, and I was back to being an only child.
Since then, my Mother and I made it somewhat of a habit by moving in with other family members and cousins. Money grew tight on my mothers budget. It was also hard to adjust every time to their new rules, the new personalities, and the new schedule. I would not see my mother at all some days because she would be working. Unfortunately, many of the the people we lived with suffered from the deadly disease of Alcoholism. From a young age I learned to keep my mouth shut as well as be a nurse.
I’m not sure why I was constantly put in those situations. At school, all I could do was focus on my studies to keep from driving myself crazy with anger. It was my escape. I found comfort in the gospel and reading my scriptures. I knew that someday this wouldn’t be my life anymore. I just had to get through these years.
I didn’t mean to tell so much of my past. Its just a small peep hole into getting to know me a little better. Even though growing up was hard, it was also wonderful. My mother is my best friend and I have such strong relationships now with all of those Aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents that we lived with. I wouldn’t changed it for anything. Because it makes me into who I am today. I’m sure you can say the same about your past. What’s past is past and the future is ours. Whatever we make, is exactly what we take:)