I don’t know if this is too personal for a blog, but today I hit somewhat of a downhill slope. I had an amazing weekend with my best friends and a great date, parties, Personal training session, dancing, and halloween theatrics. I moved from day to day with joy, excited for the next part that was the come. Monday was great too. I had more than usually work to do which was nice. So the hours passed by more like molasses than a snail (Do we know which goes faster? I feel an experiment coming on…). Then right after I swiftly headed through the treterous traffic to the heart of downtown Sale Lake City to meet my best friends for dinner at California Pizza Kitchen, or aka CPK.
I just wish everyday was filled with that excitement and fun! Today felt like falling into a pile of rocks and then after having someone pelt those same rocks at me again and again. Rather uncomfortable.
I got to thinking as I drove home in my car in silence… Is this how life is? We start on a new path thats all amazing and exciting until one day you hit a wall of routine and the excitement just fizzles. Like Any new school year or Job or maybe a relationship.
For example, I was so excited to graduate college. After 4 1/2 loooooong stressful years I was going to be able to finally do what I wanted! Which by trade was graphic design. After graduation It was so fun to point and laugh (figure of speech people, im not that rude) as fellow friends would come home with mountains of homework as I was enjoying my time relaxing with no worry or constraints. Now, almost a year after graduation, the boring work slump has hit me and I long to be back in school.
I wonder if marriage is that way too? No, I’ve never been married, close, dangerously close, but could never convince him to seal the deal. But I could see the marriage slump happening. Its exciting at first it looks like, and i hope that one day I can experience it. But if life follows the constant repeating circle of events, wouldn’t there come a time when spicing up the marriage is a must?
After just getting out of a year long relationship, I always think if I am ever going to find love again? At age 23 I am past my prime marrying years in the mormon culture and am entering the scary “could be single forever” phase. I had such high hopes for myself. I was going to be a successful graphic designer married to a hunk living in a downtown loft with a little pomeranian named Pixel to greet me when I got home.
Could it still happen? Am I not too old for fairy tales to come true? I just want my life to start! I want to have a fresh outlook and love to be where I am. But like many quotes and song lyrics I hear, they talk about loving life now and don’t always look ahead for happiness. I try to embrace that philosophy, but then visions of sugar plums dance in my head.